After I posted this the first time, I am having so many memories and thoughts. I have personally had so many calls and e-mails from friends, fans and musicians. I also maintain the band website and generic mail accounts, I have been forwarding the e-mails we have been getting to the rest of the band.
We are bringing one of Jay’s basses to the wake to put with our flowers. We talked about it as a band today, and we decided if it were us, we would want a piece of our lives there as well that people would remember.
Jay in no way seemed to me as if he was having trouble or distressed in any way. He was the same as all of us, trying to do stuff to make money to pay bills — basically he was living life like all of us. Sometimes we have no money to pay bills, to do something fun, whatever. It’s life and we all deal with it and live with it.
I’m not the only one who can not understand why he would take his own life. It doesn’t make sense. So many people have said that they could never imagine Jay doing that. And some of these people have only met or talked to Jay very few times.
We have used the band site and I use my site only for positive stuff, I never thought I would be sitting here writing stuff like this.
Today when I was doing the picture of Jay for the THERMO site, it was some of the deepest sadness I have ever felt. When we wrote the statement as a band and proofread it over and over I could only cry. I am trying not to. We are human, we have feelings and I am not afraid to show — I am sad, confused, hurt and even broken hearted over this. And I am sharing it with you.
I know the music and the shows we played as a band will live on in memory and spirit. This was part of Jay. Music is a big part of all our lives, even if we don’t know that. It really doesn’t matter if you like it or not, it was/is an artistic and creative moment in time.
Peace,
-drew